The Dizzy

I've been throwing around starting this whole blog thing for awhile now, but an event that happened yesterday compelled me to start. My sister and I have often talked about writing memoirs about our lives so far (because we've been through so much in 20+ years...read the sarcasm please), and we've debated whether it would be a drama or a comedy. The following leads me to believe that without a doubt, my life is a comedy.

Many of us know that when starting off anything in life, you begin at the bottom. Arguably the biggest b*tch position in the Navy is the ensign, the lowest of officer ranks. Nowadays, ensigns are automatically promoted after two years of successful service. The actual promotion ceremony is of little consequence, but it signifies moving up...and a considerable pay jump. Needless to say, I was excited about getting those silver bars that make me a lieutenant (junior grade).

To set the scene...My squadron has what we call all officer meetings (AOMs) every Friday morning at 0900 (thats 9 a.m.), where word is passed. I'm in what the Navy calls a Fleet Replacement Squadron (FRS), which has about 70 replacement pilots (me) in addition to the normal complement of pilots (~25). The wardroom where the AOM is held is relatively small, so with about 60 people in there, it gets pretty warm. This Friday, all the Academy ensigns and several ROTC kids would be promoted to LTJG in front of the wardroom. Just like when I was commissioned, the wife would be there to pin on my new silver bars. To reiterate, the wife is pregnant. Ole Preggers was pretty excited to meet my cohorts, pin on my bars, and generally see where I work and what I do. We got there a little late, so we were standing in the back. After we go through reaffirming the Oath with the XO and the pinning, we're pretty much stuck in the back listening to business as usual. Well, after about 10 minutes, Preggers says she wants to sit down. There were no open seats, so I told her that it's almost done and we'll be gone soon. She says ok. Within 2 minutes she once again tells me she needs to sit down, grabs her purse, takes a single step, and faints. Yes...she fainted. At my promotion. In front of all my coworkers, boss, etc. Like the attention hog she has become since getting pregnant, she can't even let me have my time in the spotlight at my own promotion! Luckily, I grabbed her arms, swiveled her around, and laid her on the ground. And she was out...for close to 10 seconds. I was scared sh*tless. You know, she being my pregnant wife and all. She soon came to, blinked her eyes, and sat up. Like the trooper she is and always has been, immediately started laughing at herself. Once we realized she was ok, we were out the door and on the way home. The amazing part was that probably five people even noticed.

We got home and ended up going to the hospital as a precaution. Everything's fine, of course. And I can't complain, I got done before 1000 on a Friday and got Chipotle for lunch, and picked up LTJG!

A little bit about myself...

We'll get the cheesy autobiography out early. I was born in Southern California, but grew up in Dayton, Ohio. I played all kinds of sports growing up, but my love was baseball, followed by football. I also played the tuba. I attended the United States Naval Academy, which will henceforth be called the 'Navy Academy' or simply 'The Academy.' Within a period of ten days in 2006, I graduated from the Academy, was commissioned as a Naval Officer, got married, went on a honeymoon in Jamaica, moved to Pensacola, Florida, and started a career as a fledgling naval aviator/officer. After almost two years in what is commonly referred to as the Redneck Riviera, my wife and I moved to paradise, also known as San Diego, California. Along the way, I started flying helicopters, got a dog, and knocked up my wife.

So, to summarize...I've had a pretty good life so far, I am a Navy helicopter pilot, a husband and soon to be father, the owner of the awesomest dog in the world, and person that probably thinks that he's funnier than he actually is.

There's more to come.

My Blog Is Better Than Your Blog

Up until recently, I've thought that blogging was a forum for self-important people to blabber about things that no one else cares about. While I still believe this, it has become obvious that a blog may be the easiest way to keep family and friends up to date on my life (as I am deficient with phones and email). Therefore, I have commenced on this journey of blogdom to provide updates and news on my life. If you don't like what I have to say, you don't have to read. Otherwise, follow along and enjoy as I convey to you the comedy that is my life...